DriveBy Funnies

Stop, Look & Lol @ Funny Signs:







And because it can't be mentioned enough...



Finally, don't forget:

I just needed a few laughs today...

- Hope you did too :)

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btws, just found this - long but has good ones:



(A few more lol signs @ DailyMail )

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Operation Pumpkin

A totally unique tidbit about the UK royals.


According to last weeks Register, "Operation Pumpkin" was the name of the top-secret contingency plan for a "runaway bride" should Kate have gotten cold feet and bolted from the abbey.

Apparently the UK security 'spooks' planned for every possible eventuality - including that of Kate leaving Wills at the altar.

The puzzle was, how do their operatives switch tasks from guarding the wedding procession, to creating a moving security cordon around the escaping future Queen - while simultaneously attempting to preserve Prince William's option to pursue and perhaps dramatically win her back?

"Frankly, it's a nightmare scenario," one highly-placed MI5 source confessed to the Reg yesterday. "But you have to plan for every possible contingency, and let's face it, this one's hardly that unlikely, is it? Obviously we had to get together with Clarence House and work something out.

"Naturally, they wanted us to simply make her go through with it - but we said you must be joking: in the UK, in front of millions of witnesses? No way. And the plods would never play ball anyhow.

"So we said, look, if she bottles it we'll just have to get her out pronto, helicopter off the roof maybe, then sort her out with a new identity and young Bill will just have to go on the honeymoon on his own."

(fyi 'Clarence House' means 'Prince Charles & his staff')

Anyway, royal officials were unhappy with that plan. They reluctantly accepted that Ms Middleton remains free to bolt right up until the last moment, but argued that she should be compelled to flee on foot for at least a short distance, so allowing the Prince to pursue her and so perhaps regain some PR benefit for the royal family - and maybe even persuade the absconding future consort to come up to scratch once more.

"That's when it got difficult," says our source. "Now you've got her running out of the Abbey, crowds everywhere, him chasing after her. She's got to be able to run, he's got to be able to catch up if he can. Nightmare."

After protracted, top-secret negotiations between royal staff from Clarence House and representatives from the Metropolitan Police, MI5 and elements of the military, a compromise was agreed. In the event of Operation Pumpkin being put into effect Ms Middleton will be permitted to run out of Westminster Abbey with her bodyguards trailing discreetly at a distance. Plain-clothes undercover police, MI5 officers and SAS soldiers stationed in the crowd will form a mobile flying wedge ahead of her, clearing a path for the fugitive future princess to escape down.

Prince William will then have a limited time, the subject of tense negotiations between Clarence House and security chiefs, in which the path behind Ms Middleton will be kept open for him to go after her, after which the mobile protective cordon will close again at the Abbey end due to lack of manpower and the Prince will have let his bride slip through his fingers.

If Wills reacts fast enough, however, he will be able to chase after his fleeing fiancee for just under half a mile.

"Clarence House wanted a full mile," says our source. "But we said come on, play fair, she's in her wedding dress and there has to be some limit on the overtime budget."

If the Prince fails to intercept Ms Middleton over that distance, the security team will decide that no on-the-spot reconciliation is possible and a strategically positioned taxi, driven by an undercover SAS operative and unobtrusively escorted by several unmarked police cars, will opportunely pull up to carry the escaping ex-future-princess to safety.

"We got Clarence House to cut that by a few minutes by agreeing they could put ringers in the crowd to shout stuff like 'Go on love, give him a kiss'," reveals our source.

We asked our source what plans were in place should Wills, rather than Kate, attempt to flee the wedding.

"Come off it," he said. "We only plan for things that make sense. He doesn't want to be back on the dating scene wearing a rug, does he?"

lol.
I hope someone interviews one of those 'ringers'...
I'd love to hear what they told them when they were hired.

p.s. Cinderella reference, apt or not?...

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For TT's 'puzzle' day
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Meer Kat Napping

When the Mama MeerKat's away...
...the animal-grabbing delinquents come out to play?

The KC Zoo did notice one of its meerkats was missing, but "They didn't know whether it had been taken by "a person or a predator," which is why
they did not file a missing-meerkat report."
But justice was served, anyway:

''Santhuff admitted he'd jumped into the exhibit, stole the meerkat and stuck it in the stroller, and said that Bradley pushed the stroller out of the zoo and kept the meerkat at his mother's. Bradley's girlfriend, who had accompanied the boys to the zoo, corroborated this version of events when she was questioned by police. "She couldn't believe the two were actually going to take the meerkat so she walked away"

1. They hid a cage in the stroller in advance.
- (premeditated !) -
2. They took it home to their trailer park. (ha !)
3. They bragged about stealing it on Facebook.
4. The ungrateful critter bit them. (lol)
5. They abandoned it after less than a week.

Geniuses.
Their folks are so proud they made the paper.

*here's the article: MeerKat (kid? cat?) -napping

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Banana Flip

Well, 'Flipping Out' Jeff -is- bananas.
Makes sense that his new gopher is too.

"Flipping Out" returns on Monday, August 17 at 10 p.m. ET/PT,

eta:


Can you believe it?... Jeff's new assistant used
'I have to win at checkers before I get up'
as an excuse for why he was late to work!

Does new boy's unique OCD make Jeff feel normal?...

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p.s. funny how blogger mangled my vacation posts
Hopefully I'll get them all corrected soon...

Nose Dive

Scary and Sporty, both.
*But no Baby, Posh, or Ginger.

(pic @ Ross Parry syndication)

Kingsize of Pop

Recently released photo of MJ's bedroom.
*click* to see close-up of the painting
Don't know what I expected he'd have over his bed...

MJ's 'apostles': Lincoln, JFK, Edison, Einstein (MJ) Walt Disney, Charlie Chaplin, Elvis, Little Richard. (He commissioned the painting from an artist that did others in his house) Why this eight?

Just can't wrap my head around it; how odd.

{article} Among the videos left piled high in Jackson’s cramped bedroom were documentaries on Bruce Lee and Adolf Hitler, a tv series, American Juniors, (teen talent show) and two self-help parenting videos.

Hopefully he bequeathed that last pair to his relatives.


orig link: more of MJ's house
link: more 'Last Suppers', just to compare

One last thing - who would be your apostles?

Everyone Needs An Outlet

*click* pic to see the -entire- wall of outlets.

quote: ''...artfully plug in your appliances wherever the cords look pleasing to you. Imagine no more crowded outlets or multi-plug adapters.

... you don’t have to actually wire all the outlets on the whole wall for electricity, but you’d better come up with a good way to remember which ones are live.''

(No $h!+)... but loved some of the comments:

'know how they say you shouldn’t plug too many cords into the same outlet? This is the exact OPPOSITE of that'

'eliminates need to choose between wallpaper patterns'

'Baby proofing this would be a bitch'

'arrange the other side of the wall to have a mini windmill for every socket...'

'one spilt drink away from an electrical fire'

'illuminating the room by nightlights into those!'

LOL...
link to orig article at: Ironic Sans

Going Down The Tube

Starting today, London subway drivers will read quotes:

{press release} The words of Gandhi, Einstein, Jean Paul Sartre and other great thinkers are to be quoted in service announcements on London's Underground...

...What?

Transport for London has commissioned Turner Prize-winning artist Jeremy Deller to compile a list of bon mots to be used by Tube drivers...

FYI, a sampling:

Gandhi's "there is more to life than increasing (its) speed"
Cezanne's "we live in a rainbow of chaos"
Fuller's "a stumble may prevent a fall"
"the afternoon knows what morning never suspected"
"an ounce of action is worth a ton of theory"
"one who n'er made a mistake n'er tried anything new"
not to menion... Sartre's "hell is other people"

{re video} The riders don't mind it for the nonce. But hopefully somewhere along the line (pun intended) the riders will get a chance to at least vote (or veto) the ones to be used.

Or perhaps send in some of their own... ==:-O


- orig. article: via BBC News

Tell Me The Tooth

High-tech dentistry... using plasma flares?

from the Economist:

(in a root canal) "... it is common for some of the bacteria to survive it and therefore for infections to re-emerge...

The surviving bacteria are often gathered in the form of what is known as a biofilm. Bacteria in such a film are embedded in a polymer matrix, which makes them harder to kill than isolated individuals. High temps can destroy biofilms, as can chemicals, but neither is safe to use inside... a human tooth. However Chunqi Jiang, a physicist at the USC, and her colleagues have come up with a possible alternative: a dental plasma torch.

...Dr Jiang reckoned that a cold plasma, particularly one rich in oxygen ions (which are notoriously destructive of organic materials), would be enough to do the job of breaking up a biofilm without harming the patient.

(my aside) 'Much'.

I'm praying this isn't the same kind: Here's a youtube video of one cutting a motorcycle outline in less than 30 seconds... out of quarter-inch steel plate.

I like my dentist, but wouldn't trust him with this!

High Tidy Heels

High Tide Heels, by artist Paul Schietekat

''...they combine the elegance of stiletto heels with the swimming speed of flippers."

''They could provide a fashionable alternative for sun-seekers who don't want the hassle of changing footwear every time they cool off with dip in the sea.''

Imagine Posh Spice strolling sprawling along in these.

Alas, according to the Telegraph, there's 'no thought to be any plans to release them commercially'

GOD's Holy Salami

It was either that or 'God I Love Salami'.

Note: put down drinks before reading.

article: ...a divine message or a meaty coincidence

...she was cooking fried salami when (she) flipped one of them and saw the letter G. "Then got the O and I thought to myself how cool will it be if the third letter was a D."

Simoes realizes people may think she's crazy.

"I can't make this up... it's there in the burn marks."

For 20 years, her family has enjoyed fried salami for breakfast. Now Simoes is wondering how she will preserve the "holy" salami.

20 years? Wonder what other messages she missed?
Think of the words if she'd fry up four at at time...

link: WSBtv

An 82 Pound Throne

Yes, that's correct. (click to enlarge)
Bidding is over and her throne has been claimed.
Someone paid £82 for Camilla's used potty seat.
Isn't that about $122 in U.S. dollars?

My previous post, The Royal Wee, on the subject.

Oh Catsup Cake

Oh to be a Canadian today...

PRESS RELEASE: ''To commemorate its Canadian centennial and thank Canadians for 100 years of support, Heinz has created The Great Canadian Heinz Ketchup Cake.''

Still don't believe? Here's the recipe:
2 cups (500 mL) all-purpose flour
2 tsp (10 mL) baking powder
1 1/2 tsp (7 mL) cinnamon
1 tsp (5 mL) baking soda
1/2 tsp (2 mL) each, nutmeg and ginger
1/2 cup (125 mL) Heinz Tomato Ketchup
1/2 cup (125 mL) water
2 tbsp (30 mL) red food colouring
3/4 cup (175 mL) Butter, softened
1 1/2 cups (375 mL) dark brown sugar, packed
2 Eggs

FROSTING:
6 oz (175 g) solid cream cheese, softened
3/4 cup (175 mL) Butter, softened
1 tsp (5 mL) vanilla extract
4 cups (1 L) Icing 'powdered' sugar

Preheat oven to 350 F (180 C). Grease two, 9-inch (23-cm) round cake pans and line the bottoms with parchment paper.

Stir flour, b powder, cinnamon, b soda, nutmeg and ginger in bowl.
Stir ketchup, water and colouring in a separate bowl. Set aside.

Beat the butter and sugar in large bowl til smooth. Add in eggs. Add the flour mix and ketchup mixture. Beat on low, til combined. Increase speed to medium-high and beat 1 minute.

Bake 30 min, or til centre springs back when touched lightly.

Cool cake 15 min before turning onto rack to cool.

Frosting: Beat cream cheese, butter and vanilla on medium for 2 min. Gradually beat in the sugar on low, scraping the bowl as needed. Beat on high until fluffy.

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Because if there's anything that grows well in Canada its a -tomato-?
*thankfully the frosting is tomato-free.

link in new window: Ketchup Cake.

Kneed To Pay For Parking

_{original picture credit to albanpix.com}
Welcome to the really 'Short Stay Car Park'... Shrunken 3ft-tall parking machines were installed at a short-stay car park in Sheringham (UK) to make them accessible for the handicapped. Guess what? The wheelchair-bound drivers hate these midget meters too. The Daily Mail article.

FBI Track Wolverine Pirate!

''Wow... are the 'X-Files' open again?''
That was my first thought {after I finished laughing} when I read that actual headline 'FBI track Wolverine pirate' on an article in the Daily Telegraph. But sadly, it was just announcing that the FBI is in pursuit of whoever leaked an advance copy of the new X-Men film. Not an X-File in sight.

Sardine Cupcakes

Dog Hill Kitchen: Spinach and Sardine Cupcakes

And this is why I read her blog...
Because I'm all about the homemade treats.

*Note she provides nutritional value links. Plus, any frosting that includes a cup of extra virgin olive oil and pureed spinach can't be bad for you... right?...

p.s.

Happy April Fool's Day!

My Band's Album

The latest sounds of betrayal,
Bella Traición does it for you!

Woo, did I luck out with my band's name!

Bella Traición
(translation: "Beautiful Betrayal")
(bonus: its a single from Belinda's album "Utopía")

Sadly, it was all downhill from there...

Album name: 'You Get 'em Laminated' (!?)

Alas, my CD will never sell since my cover
'art' is a van parked at a strip mall. (?!)
(Seriously K., you'll starve as a photographer.)

Rock'n'Roll will never die, but this album? Yes.
But if you'd like to make your own, see below:

The Claw: create a band and an album

Olympic Oops

A portrait of Myra Hindley, the Moors Murderess convicted of killing children, was included in the British images in the 'London 2012' Olympics montage shown to Beijing athletes. 'Oops'

It was actually a photo of an artwork 'Myra' made out of children’s hand prints, done by artist Marcus Harvey several years ago as part of a Shock Art showing. So, is showing a picture of this the same thing as showing an actual photo of the woman herself? Since she is recognisable, I can understand why relatives of her victims would object even though it was presented as part of a piece of art. Original article from the Telegraph. (incl. 2 min video)

Ivory to Ebony in two steps

Fun from TLW episode 511...
'Oops': When Bette and Jodi are on the sidewalk by Bette's car, the same extra walks by them twice in ten seconds. Then she magically transforms into a black man when B&J turn toward the car.



{the Youtube video clip }

* blooper credit: fingirl - Nice catch!

...watching this week's episode this morning and had to share something... within the first ten minutes, when Bette and Jodi are on the sidewalk, by Bette's car, talking, the same extra walks by them twice... and as they get into the car, the caucasian woman in khaki's turned into a black man. - fingirl (TWoP 3-17-08 )