DriveBy Funnies

Stop, Look & Lol @ Funny Signs:







And because it can't be mentioned enough...



Finally, don't forget:

I just needed a few laughs today...

- Hope you did too :)

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btws, just found this - long but has good ones:



(A few more lol signs @ DailyMail )

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Sheen Shuns Sense & Sensibility

Because that's how he and his sloth pals roll?
I'm amazed by all the creativity on the web just trying to make sense of the latest missives from actor Charlie Sheen.
But I think its an impossible task:

On drugs…
“I am on a drug. It’s called 'Charlie Sheen'.
It’s not available. If you try it once, you will die.
Your face will melt off...”

On beating addiction…
“I closed my eyes and made it so with the power of my mind
...AA. It’s a silly book written by a broken-down fool.”

On his own in-home rehab…
“...that we labeled the Sober Valley Lodge.
… its primary client achieved radical success.”

On discussing his behavior with his kids…
“Talk about an education. And then, like, this, and then that’s the guy, and that’s our dad and we can get all the answers and the truth? Wow, 'winning!'...”

On being special…
“I will not believe that if I do something then I have to follow a certain path because it was written for normal people. People who aren’t special. People who don’t have tiger blood and Adonis DNA.”

On being tired…
“I’m tired of pretending I’m not a total bitchin’ rock star from Mars.”

On life…
“...my life is so much more bitchin’ than yours. I planned it this way.”

Newsflash...
"...I am special. I will never be one of you."

On what people think…
“If people think I’m insane...
I have no interest in their retarded opinions.
I’m gonna live my life the way I want... they can just find the most comfortable chair in their small house and sit back and enjoy the show.”

Enjoy? Not the word I'd choose.

(hardly a poster-boy for Miss Manners, is he?)

His poor kids. All -five- (!) of them.

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For any with the courage to wade thru more:

more of ScreenJunkies Sheen quotes, so far...
spearhead's unique Sheen click-on Audio Board.
The LA Times' Charlie Sheen Dictionary.

Or go here for more Sloth Sheen screenshots by buzzfed.

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ETA - Charlie Sheen's strong moral code:

Howard Stern announced a 'Charlie Sheen Beauty Pageant' for his Thursday show, with the girls that Charlie used to pay to have sex with. Charlie wasn’t amused and said he felt burned by the girls.
Sheen said “Shame on you…” to the girls.

Now I'm truly speechless.

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Flying Monkey Cake

Just what the elf ordered for your holiday
... if you happen to be an anorexic giant.


The Flying Monkey bakery in Philly invented these 'pumpple' cakes by baking a two layer cake with an entire apple pie in the top half, and a pumpkin pie in the lower one.

An entire pumpple cake weighs 15 pounds
stands more than a foot tall
costs $75
and will run you 1,800 calories a slice.

Maybe we'll start with just that $8 slice?

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No Place Like Dome

Watch it cave in -with- actual sound.
... There's snow-where to hide!



Make sure you have the sound on ... }~whump~{ !

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Whale Of A Song

Tired of those pre- Christmas tunes already?
You won't hear this in any mall...

Below is "The Pequod" from Tony Garone's "Ahab" show,
'a musical interpretation of Melville's Great American Novel'

'We sail in the morning on a whaling ship
On the wharf we'll be called to service by the rig
And the ship we'll be sailing to the open sea
Goes by name of the Pequod it must surely be!

Now a Christmas is coming but we'll be away
And a whale we'll be hunting so we cannot stay
May our harvest be plenty and our barrels full
And may God bless our journey too!'... etc.

Hate the holidays? ...
No cheery sentiments at all in Ahab's title song.
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Feeling Better Than This Guy

I'm still on the mend,
but at least my brain is working, unlike this guy:

He loaded a $300 inflatable raft with camping supplies, two burritos, a bag of vitamins, a Bible and a mannequin of Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger.

"This trip was a campaign," Hopper explained. "I wanted to bring more attention to social diseases."

Yup, that's what it says.
Feel free to read that twice, I did.

After 5 days stranded on an island a mile off-shore he finally used his cellphone -doh!- to call for help.

And just in case you were worried,
he also brought along a red tablecloth and some duct tape.
No extra food mind you, but he did have a tablecloth.

Here's the entire article; it can't help but make you feel like a sane genius in comparison.


Still lol-ing about him bringing
that giant Schwarzenegger doll along...

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Creature Comforts

Freaky finds for the family.

For your infant, the Zombie Devil Duckie:

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For bigger kids, A Remote Control Zombie, seen here fighting his arch nemesis, the remote control empty pants:

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For adults that are that kind of 'adult'...

Roxxy the Sex Robot:

"Hey there (pause) Stud"
"Do you like Porsches?" (was that 'porches'?)
"Are you ready to give it to me (pause) Stud?"
"Ah (roboticly) thats nice"
"You have a nice weiner." (and so on....)

As for me, I have no words re: this zombie date...

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Finally, for the oldsters, a Robot Nurse... ...planned for euthanasia?


At least one of the above seems montrous to me.

So this post is part of ThemeThursdays 'Monster' day.
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Wearing A See-Thru Shirt

Now everyone will be able to sneak a peek... as long as you keep your battery charged.



A camera on the back linked to an LCD on front.
Makes a 'Portal' costume, inspired by the game.

Cool - you can see what's behind inventor Ben Heck.

The real fun part? You could win it.
Enter Here, by Friday, Nov. 5, for the chance to win an autographed portal t-shirt created by Ben & Jason.

p.s. When you get to the 'quiz'?...
The Answer is {C.} Tweezers

Hm, He could sell millions to golfers,
as their 'Hole In One' Halloween costume.
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Agitating Aquatic Animals

This is Yan Lu's new 'water conservation' invention. It fools aqua-wasters by making it appear that the goldfish's water is being drained to wash your hands. Its water is actually pumped to a hidden reservoir.

Yes, its an interesting trick, but I'm sure it freaks the fish out to have its life support pumped half-away every time a human turns up.

Or how about the life of these Asian fish:

*seen in market in Kowloon

Can goldfish die of stress?

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But at least Goldie's safer than these crabs:



Yes, live crabs in a vending machine.
This gizmo is in a subway station in Shanghai. Do they pocket a live crab or two before boarding the train? And what's in those bottles at the bottom? Sauce?, or beer, or maybe an aquatic anesthetic?

I can just see the headline:

SE Asia Watery Wildlife Worried Weekly

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Test Your Awareness

'Why?'... ...'Why _kNot?' ...


Watch at least half of the video.
... I'll wait. ;-)

That was fun, wasn't it?

Its part of a things you should know about us humans list, being compiled by a psychologist. I think we recognize this 'inattention blindness'; its just a more clinical way of reminding us that 'we don't always see what's right before us'.

Even when told to pay attention,
...I still missed a moon-bear!

How embarrassing.

But would I notice this?:

*her 2nd ex. - you'll understand it in the first minute:


'Our brains actually process very little of what comes in through the eyes.' No kidding - 75% of them didn't notice the switch! And I can't honestly say whether I would or not.

So, since we mentally abbreviate these 'known' things... its no wonder the courts would rather have security cam videos versus eye witnesses.

Because things are knot always what they seem to be.
Perhaps like this 'knot' day post, for ThemeThursday.

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Eye Can See Why

A quick eye-bender.

Full-screen is coolest. click 4-arrow button.

_{*for themethursday's Light day.}

Definitely worth 99 seconds of your time.

Just don't watch it while driving... ;-)

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Tinsel Toots

What happens if kitty sets off the metal detector at the airport? Do they x-ray the poor thing, send it home, or ...?

But just in case you don't care to worry about that,
here's one version of how tinsel first appeared:

The tradition of using tinsel when decorating a Christmas tree is said to have come from the story of a poor woman in Germany who had no decorations for the little tree she found for her children.

The tales goes that during Christmas Eve spiders in the tree wove webs around it and covered it with white strands. A local holy man passed by the humble home and saw the poor family's little tree decorated by the spiders. He said a blessing over it and the house.

By Christmas morning, the spider web strands had magically turned to silver and glistened on the sunlight to the delight of the poor woman and her children.

OMG, the plot for 'Tinsel Town's next 'Spiderman' movie.

;-)

U MST L@@K !

Above was the title of the link sent to me.

Have to agree - can't believe it til you see it.

*click* above for pics. (13 quick pics)

My jaw dropped open when I got to pic #6.

Yes, its a real Long Island, NY listing: via Sotheby's.


Remember, its only 4 mil so you better hurry.

Wall To Wall

Outside the set of CBS's new show:

'There Goes The Neighborhood'...

The -original- name of this show?

..'Block Party'..

Wonder what happened to provoke the name change?
I suppose we'll find out tonight. (promo below)

An Amazing Trek

... into Spock's mind, among other places.

A farmer fan used GPS technology to build this 32-acre 'York Maze' in Yorkshire, UK as a tribute of sorts to the 40th year of 'Star Trek'. You can get lost running around Saturn, the Starship Enterprise, in Mr Spock's brain, or into a "Borg cube" that's being zapped right next to Picard's head.

*''See? Spock's brain is green too.''

Fun for the entire clan...

Bring food, H₂O, pointy ears & a GPS.

Daily Mail: York Maze.

Warrior Librarians

Do they have a biblio-battle-cry?

Had no idea that the American Library Association even had Book Cart Drills, much less a Book Cart Team World Championship.

Stair Down

Normally I don't grab the handrail but...

sea-sick stair


tightly tucked-in stair, via marieclaire


can you imagine if you forgot something?


Yes, its skateboards


I'd think you'd -twang- going up or down


'floating' staircases...


who needed to go up this rock that badly?


KPMG building (Munich) staircase

Here's A Toast?

Odd toasters I've run across recently
*click* images to go to original links.

I see it now; my toaster lacks ambition.

No Junk Mail

Believe it or not, its a Dutch mailbox.

The postal service in Knokke-Heist has a crusade against 'problem' mailboxes. Most bad boxes are 'unmarked, too small, or difficult to reach'. But some are just... 'non-conforming'.

The best part? The postal union talks to the owner in person to tell them that they won't be able to deliver mail to that bad box anymore. But if they can't contact them within 10 days?... Then they will 'be informed by letter'.

That'll show 'em

link via: Oro Nieuws (Dutch)

Sandy Pants

...in a 'sculpt like a pirate' fest.

''Yo ho ho and a bottle of sand-glluuuue''
The 11th annual (world's largest) Sand Castle Festival is underway in Belgium this week. Weirdly, even though its in a seaside town, the event appears to be held indoors.


And this year's theme is pirates, so for inspiration the sculptors spent an entire day watching pirate films.


link: more pics via WCBS.

p.s... includes a sculpture of Michael Jackson(?)